Dammit, Mark Bittman!

This weekend, Zac and I are going to Montauk to stay in a cute little cottage and do absolutely nothing. We had out-of-town guests for 5 nights last week (and no matter how much you like someone, 5 nights is about 2 or 3 nights too many for 4 people to stay in our apartment together), and we both had major deadlines at work this week requiring lots of overtime.

So, a vacation couldn’t come at a better time. I’m working on two beach playlists – one for daytime and one for nighttime (suggestions?) – and I’m taking my favorite book, which I haven’t reread in a couple years. I have a vision of us lying on the deck during breaks from walks on the beach and playing Frisbee -- reading, playing Scrabble, singing, drinking cocktails, and eating yummy snacks.

We both really like to cook, but we haven’t had much time to fix anything more complicated than hot dogs for the past couple weeks. The cottage has a grill, so we’re definitely going to, uh, grill hot dogs – but we’re going to fix some more sophisticated stuff, too – likely involving Zac’s beloved heirloom tomatoes, a variety of cheeses, and some tasty meats or fishes.

I’m planning to make some chicken salad and a couple batches of cookies to take with us, and last night I made 2 kinds of muffins to anchor our Continental breakfast.

I used Mark Bittman’s Basic Muffin recipe from How to Cook Everything, a great cookbook that is usually my first reference when I’m headed to the kitchen. Bittman encourages you to buy the best ingredients you can find/afford, but he’ll also tell you when you won’t suffer by using canned beans or whatever. (He also has a recipe for Cinnamon Toast for One, which I think is funny.) He’s usually a really dependable source for basic recipes, so I thought his muffin recipe would be the perfect place to start.

But this time, Mark Bittman, you have steered me wrong!

In fairness, Bittman does warn that he doesn’t like sweet muffins, and that you should punch up the sugar if you do. HOWEVER. I used his spice muffin variation, adding cinnamon, ginger, cloves, and nutmeg (plus, I put in a bunch of walnuts for crunch). But the spice flavor was too subtle and the muffins really aren’t very sweet, even though I used a quarter-cup of dark brown sugar. The texture, while not totally dry, isn’t as light and fluffy as I would have liked. I put some strawberry preserves on one while it was still warm, and that was quite tasty. I’m considering adding some kind of caramel glaze – I think that might do the trick, but I’m afraid it would make them TOO sweet.

Anyway, for the second batch of muffins, I used Bittman’s sour cream/yogurt variation, which is supposed to create a very tender crumb. Well. This isn’t Bittman’s fault, but the muffins are extremely dense and chewy. That’s not how muffins are supposed to be!

In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention that I accidentally put in an extra cup of flour, so I had to add more milk and yogurt, but didn’t think to put extra baking powder or baking soda. Yeah, that probably accounts for the density. They’re a truly bizarre texture, but I put in a whole jar of delicious tart cherries, so we’re just going to have to learn to love our little bubblegum hockey puck muffins.

The whole adventure reminds me of this time when I was about 8 and I wanted to bake something. I really wanted some cookies but we didn't have all the stuff in the recipe, so I figured I'd improvise. I started throwing stuff in a bowl and just mixed it up -- flour, chocolate syrup, milk.

Surprisingly, my efforts did not yield cookies.

My mom always says that baking is chemistry, and doesn't that just figure? I barely passed chemistry (it's algebra in disguise!). But I love baked goods, so I keep trying.